welcome
enjoy the taste of the manzana verde
here's the rules:

eating

· store your food in the fridge or use your personal storage basket in the kitchen
· free use of the kitchen between 7.00 and 22.00, you also do the dishes for free
· if you want to re-create ground zero, please touch the gas bottle in the kitchen
· unless you want cockroaches as your pet, eat your 5 course meal in the dining area, not your room
· your food will grow legs after 3 days in the fridge, so don’t look for it after that period
· general rule: use it, clean it !
· feeling constipated ? help yourself to nutrient-rich honduran tap water !

· no smoking in the rooms
· tourists are thieves (except you), so keep your luggage in your personal storage space
· we rent the beds from ten till ten, so there is no hourly rental
· there’s no sex in the dorms, unless we can film it
· money for nothing and nothing for money, so remember that you pay your bed daily before 10.00 AM
· yes, that also means check out is 10.00 AM
· the sheets you get are clean, please do not use your own
· honduran customs does not issue visas to malaria mosquitoes,
so no need to put up your mosquito nets and drill holes in our walls
· how to pick up your free towel: when you leave the manzana verde,
take a right, then another right, cross the river, take the mule trail for a while and ask again…

living

· due to frequent complaints from parents, we shut the tv down just before the adult channel kicks in (23.00)
· if you play with the tv, we’ll play with you
· message delivery service: if you don’ t retrieve your messages from the bulletin board,
we'll deliver them to your bed along with your free towel
· if you want to light a candle, there's a church on the main square
· free beer policy: see staff for free beer application form (application fee: 25 lempiras)
· friends are welcome, if they pay the friendly entrance fee of $5
· yes, we provide laundry service, the pila is out back, instructions on the side
· for help cleaning up your shit from the tables, our friendly staff will assist you for just 200 dollars/hour.

being

· no drugs, we’ll put you out on the street, even at night, in your pyjamas
· a shower a day keeps the bugs away and our sheets clean
· for free international calls to everywhere and beyond, use the red phone
· this place is already a zoo, we do not need more animals inside
· nudity policy: maybe you think you have a great body, but unless staff agrees,
please keep your clothes on
· if you want to take something away, there is a take away pizza in town
· copan already has ruins, please do not turn our hostel into one
· yes, honduras has it’s own currency...it s called the lempira, not the loempia
· if people look at you funny, try changing from french to spanish
· management assumes full responsibility for all the shit that happens here…
yeah right !! and elvis is still alive!!
· discount policy: 100%, if you give us a naked full body massage,
and you’re the one who’s naked (subject to nudity policy above)
· please fill in your name on entry, in case you get lost in downtown copan
· everyone in copan has machetes, remember that before you bitch at the staff

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